Eight months ago we planted a seed. This seed was the hope of one day welcoming our first baby to our family. That day, we thought that it would be six months before we would be matched. The wait during any adoption weighs on your mind, on your heart, and on your spirit. The emotions are intense, and the happy ending feels so far away with no definite end in sight. The wait gives you plenty of time to consider every aspect of your adoption. It causes you to examine your own motives and needs. What may have started as a joyful journey to family becomes something much more complicated. When six months came and went, we realized that we have no control. The only thing that we can cling to is our faith that God is matching us up with the perfect birth mother and the perfect child. We don’t know when, we don’t know where, but we give that up because we know that God’s timing is perfect.
All of that sounds well and good in theory, but doubt and uncertainty has a way of creeping up and overwhelming faith. Thoughts of “what’s wrong with us?” or “why haven’t we been chosen yet?” or “we can’t just wait around.” These thoughts are the weeds that have been taking over our planted seed of faith. As my father-in-law would say, “we need some round-up to take care of these weeds!”
The round-up we need and used last night was encouragement from fellow adoptive families that have gone through what we’re going through. Our agency, Lifetime Adoption has great webinars and last night provided the encouragement we both needed. As we continue to wait, it is important that we keep the weeds of doubt controlled so our planted seed can grow and produce our first child.