I’ve spent much of my infertility journey trying to keep my raw emotions in check. I’d go so far as to say I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to not let emotion get the best of me.

You know what I mean by raw emotions, right? Those irrational feelings we hide from most of the world, but spew on those we love the most. For me this most often occurs with my husband. He sees me at my worst and because of that can catch me when my emotions run over me. I love Jesus, and I love my husband… passionately! But sometimes I get thrown for a loop emotionally, and it’s the people closest to me that pay the price.

Learning to navigate those raw emotions is challenging. It’s not often what is seen at face value that is really the issue. If one digs deeper you just may find something ugly. It leads me to ask myself the crucial question time after time. Am I going to let this define me or refine me? If this raw emotion defines me, I’ll feel defeated. If I let it refine me, I’ll be motivated to make positive changes.

Positive changes start with a positive attitude. A positive attitude isn’t always easy but God doesn’t want me to give into my raw emotions. He wants me to be refined into the hope-filled woman I’m meant to be. A child called to point others to Christ and our hope in Him.