Adam and I try to get in one solid date night a week. As of late it seems our work life has become more and more prominent and we find ourselves working evenings or weekends (more than just Sunday church-work commitments). We are intentional about connecting in the evenings through our bedtime devotions and share time of the day’s “Joy, Junk, & Jesus”. These moments of uninterrupted time, just the two of us, is something we have come to cherish. This past week we have had “date night” three nights in a row but instead of going out we opted to stay in. Normally for a date night we hit up Chilli’s and split a 2 for $20. With the portions larger and an appetizer included we always leave with leftovers for the following day. We love that we can get two meals out of our date night and is one of the reason Chilli’s has become our restaurant of choice.
Date night this week has changed from going out to staying in. We have spent the majority of our evenings this past week as pictured below. On the couch, hovered around the lit screen of our laptop exchanging ideas with our coffee table littered with adoption paperwork. Our laptop holds dozens of word documents and drafts of numerous important pieces to the adoption process. Our most recent accomplishment was writing our “Dear Birthmother” letter. This letter includes things about how we met, where we live, how we would raise our child, interests we each have and our promise to the birth mom. We have obsessed over wording and layout, in order best portray ourselves to an expectant mother. As we sit and re-read what is *hopefully* our final draft you would not be able to guess the sheer amount of time, collaboration and discussion we have poured into this letter.
It’s hard to depict in words what our lives and personalities look like while being limited to a single page. Language and phrasing are carefully thought out and one of the reasons we’ve dedicated so much time to this piece of the process. We want to be honest in our desire, preferences and story as we owe that to expectant mothers and to ourselves. We want our personalities to shine through and for our letter to be “perfect” without making us look desperate or too “over-the-top”. All that in mind Adam and I like to flippantly tell each other “no pressure” as we move forward in this process.
Selecting clothing for our upcoming photo shoot that will then be displayed with our agency: “no pressure”. Writing the letter that will help a birth mom select us: “no pressure”. Editing our networking cards to make them stand out from the rest: “no pressure”. The truth is, we feel the pressure because we care and desire so strongly be parents.
It’s easy for us to overthink and worry about what we do or say and if that will make or break us as an adoptive couple to an expectant mom. Luckily for us God has a plan. His plan is perfect and our family outcome is not left up to our own devices but to God and His will for us. Yes God uses mediums like the words we type, clothing we wear in our photo shoot, and choices we make but if there is one thing I’ve learned through infertility and family planning it’s that we are not in control. This can be both frustrating and also comforting. As we move forward in the adoption process it’s a comfort to know we don’t have the final say. We know God will lead, guide, and match to unfold the beautiful miracle of adoption all in God’s timing, all in God’s plan.
At least I shouldn’t have to wait 40 years… is the thought…27 February 2016
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