Mother’s day while waiting to have the title of “mommy” is a mixed bag. For some, the word “Mom” brings pain. It is a title that many fear will never follow their name. It is a coveted role that many pray for daily. And some days, “Mom” seems unreachable.

The desire to be a mom is something I’ve had since I was old enough to mother my younger sisters. Working with children on a daily basis it’s a joy to teach and lead them to grown in their faith. Being godparents to our nephew and being able to be the fun aunt (and Adam the fun uncle) to him and our niece is something we cherish but these joys are just not the same as being a mother.

This mother’s day Adam and I are closer than we were last year, or the year before that. Last year at this time we were undergoing fertility treatments and I remember Adam saying “next year, you could be a mother”. This year we again have hope and excitement for what lies ahead.

While I may not have a child in utero a mother is not made when a child is placed in her arms. A mother is made when the dream of a child is birthed in her heart. For many women this means never having the opportunity to be a biological mother. Yet, when I think of some of the most influential women in my life and those who “mothered” me growing up there are so many more than just my mom. The dream to motherhood and finding baby Bauer has and is a long process but we have open hearts when God’s time is right.

While we wait we pray daily for our birth mom. We have not met her, and don’t know when God will bring her in our lives but we pray just the same. Knowing that God’s plan for our family is being unfolded with each day and that somewhere out there is the biological mother of our child. As one of Adam’s co-workers recently congratulated him “dude, you ARE expecting!” When you say it like that walking to road towards “mom” is a little easier.